Did you know that there are differences in men and women?
I'm not kidding, really! I remember that famous Time magazine cover just a few years back that announced this stunning revelation. And I see a news story fairly regularily quoting a study of some sort and the latest stunning news of the actual difference between the sexes. What an advance civilization we are to notice this.
I'll tell you one difference I noticed. We men sweat a hell of a lot more. Last night during my run at about the turning around point for a 5K, I passed a young lady coming around back towards the finish. Now I had run at this point about a mile and a half in the warm Georgia evening. My shorts were already sweat soaked as if I had drank a case of beer, held it in all night and then finally soiled myself. My tank top looked like I had thrown up on myself or something. This lovely lady was dressed in the summer heat in a sweat shirt and capri length (is it unmanly for me to know what "capri" length is?) and not only was she not sweating as she passed the mile and a half mark, not a hair was out of place. She was so fresh and clean that you expected her to start leaping in a meadow in a feminine hygiene commercial as the very symbol of "springtime freshness". As she passed a virtual bouquet of flora aromas wafted in the air like the smell of honeysuckle in the breeze on a cool spring night. Her blonde locks flowing....uh....sorry back to my point. I looked like I was in the middle of a death march and she wasn't even sweating. And women are always cold. They'll walk into a room with a Russian Parka on and ask "My God what is the temperature set on in this room"? You answer "94 degrees". "Well" she says "Can we turn on some heat"?
Another difference is that women despite their springtime freshness can be vicious creatures. I overheard a gathering of women yesterday in the breakroom and was floored. A co-worker had just changed from her scrubs to regular clothes and stopped in to grab her lunchbag to head home. The group and she exchanged some pleasantries. As she left and headed out and passed by the window, it started.
"Where did she get those pants"?
"She is too old to wear her hair like that!"
"Has she gained weight? She never lost the weight after that last baby."
And this is their friend! Men just don't do that. You'll never see this scene in a garage. Earl walks by his friends and heads out.
Bubba: Is it just me or did those bib overalls make Earl's ass look huge"
Butch: Did you see his nails? Wouldn't kill him to get a manicure would it?
Junior: Did Ray Charles pick out that green John Deere cap? That color just washes him out.
So let's summarize.
Women: Springtime fresh and good smelling. Can be quite vicious.
Men: Sweaty and smell bad. But nicer to friends.
I think we've learned a lot here today.