This morn while getting ready to crawl out the door to work, I saw an ABC news replay of a George Snuffaluffagus interview with one Albert Gore.
As I watched him speak and listened to his impassioned plea for me to save the planet, I was dumbstruck by one overpowering thought.
What happened to this man's eyebrows?
He has absolutely no eyebrows. Now, Al must be, what, late 50's or so? I thought men got really bushy eyebrows when they got older. What up g?
Did he fall asleep at a frat party? That happened to a friend of mine once. Or is this the little known first stage of global warming? The heat singes eyebrows off! He really is a harbinger then, our very own canary in a coal mine.
It's creepy to look at him. I guess that's why during that debate they gave him the 60 year old hooker makeup.
Now you can have your paranoid conspiracy rantings until the cows come home if you wish about why he lost the election. Delusions can be fun.
But for my money, enough people were disturbed by him looking like a drag queen and that's what tipped the balance. And that was apparently to cover up for this tragic eyebrow balding that has been caused by climate change and McDonalds probably.
He should have instead, came out publicly and talked about this tragedy. "you too may lose your eyebrows due to greenhouse emissions!"
The votes would pour in. Because America loves themselves a victim.
But go ahead America and drive your Hummers and eat McDonalds and drink Starbucks and enjoy your running water, just go ahead!!
Just remember when you too lose your eyebrows, that Al and I tried to warn you.
Plebians.

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