The bacon rebellion [ 2006-06-25, 3:18 p.m. ]
It being Sunday and all I'm thinking of bacon. I'm thinking of religon. I'm thinking of how many crazy ass people there are out there.
Put it all together and what do you have?
A working theory, that's what.
Fact 1: Bacon is scrum-deli-icous.
Fact 2: Some religons ban pork products.
Fact 3: These are possibly the most whacked out people in the world.
Now, I'd not have to go any further really to prove my point (and inflame millions!) but going further is really what I'm all about.
I'm not saying that there aren't insane bacon eaters out there. Clearly there are. And 75% of Christians I meet are a bit off in the head as well.
That having been said, is it a coincidence that the most be-headen-est of religons does not eat bacon? And their hated enemies the Jews don't either? In some of the poorest nations in the world they do not eat a viable food product because of something written in a book way back when?
Defies logic and common sense. I feel the same way about a lot of the Old Testament as well. Dated nonsense.
I can't get on board with any religon telling me how to eat (of course I'm barely on board with any!) particularily bacon for goshsakes.
I suggest that anyone who wakes up to the smell of coffee and bacon will be so happy that they will have no interest in beheading anyone or blowing themselves up.
I think bacon can bring peace and happiness in our time.
And many will say my little joking prose is insensitive to a misunderstood religon. Really? Misunderstood? What I just typed would likely have me killed in many bastions of this religon. Sound sane to you?
Many years from now may I be remembered for these famous words,
GIVE ME BACON OR GIVE ME DEATH!