In response to concern from this mornings' earlier entry, please rest assured that there is no need to alert authorities as to the demise of any female I am currently or previously involved with. You see I receive emails and notes saying "loved your love poem to beer" or whatever and "you're supposed to be a poet where's the f'ing poetry funny boy?" so I try to comply when I can. This morning I was reading a review of "Kill Bill" and so it was supposed to be funny like if Tarantino wrote a poem. heh heh. uhhh (crickets chirping in the background) or something like that. Maybe not so much.
It's been a problem of mine for some years with regards to writing. I can't write seriously for very long. In high school I wrote a short story for my AP English that was supposed to be "social satire". I wrote a satire that compared high school to living in a Nazi concentration camp. How's that for satire? It was tongue in cheek, I don't think it was THAT offensive but here is what the joyless teacher wrote:
"Mr. Gutterpoet. It is sad to see a student with so much promise and talent totally wasted due to a demented and offensive so-called sense of humor. This paper should be an easy A+ with the skills and talent shown but as such will earn you a C-."
Though in hindsight, not the best idea maybe, in front of the whole class I very loudly proclaimed that this very grade proved the validity of my satire in a speech that I seem to remember including a "Heil Hitler" at some point. This earned me a trip to see Vice Principle Partington who I may have well given an ulcer to in my career there. I was supposedly "advocating Nazi-ism" they said. When in fact as you can see, I was claiming the Administration and teachers were being the Nazi's! We settled with me getting a "B" and one class period of study hall detention.
Dear Lord what was my point before all this? Oh yeah, you see, I can't write in a actual serious poetic manner without wishing to vomit afterwards. I can't do that whole "life is so beautiful, yet flawed and so I wish to hang myself" trip. I admire those who can. Oh well, anyway the above story illustrates why I am where I am in life if nothing else. Always one ill-conceived wisecrack from greatness.
Yes, welcome to the wonder that is me.