A friend of mine is currently agonizing over how and when to break up with her boyfriend. I told her the usual crap that everyone does to just be honest and get it over with and all that jazz.
But let's be honest, most of us are cowards when it comes to laying the news on someone. I know I am.
In fact, it's funny that I never realized this but I have a very set pattern each time. After the need for the breakup is obvious to me (usually six months after it's been obvious to everyone BUT me)I seem to find a candidate for a replacement among my social circle. This candidate is then put through a more rigorous screening process than the FBI might do. Once the behind the scenes inquiring is over, then flirting begins with the candidate. If the flirting is returned then the next step is to apply the primer. You take this person in as your confidante and ask her opinion as you agonize over the decision. Thus she knows what a biotch the soon to be ex is as well as how sensitive you are to be weighing the decision.
Your safety net in place, you must start the breakup rolling. This you do by demonstrating more erratic behavior than Robert Downey Jr could muster. This cannot miss in leading to the soon to be ex "needing to have a talk with you" during which an argument ensues. At some point, you say "fine then let's just breakup if that's what YOU want" and you storm out.
So there you have it. The breakup is completed, it appears to have been what the ex drove you to, and you don't miss a beat as you cruise on to the lady in waiting.
And yes it's a wonder I've never been shot by someone yet. But the above is apparently what I mean when I advise my friend to "do it quick like ripping off a band-aid!".
Ahhh the contradiction between what we say and what we do.