I have for reasons I can't fathom been asked by more than one person to comment on the whole Brad Pitt/Jennifer Anniston breakup.
I could care less.
Thank you, good night.
Alrightttt. I took casual interest when it broke because it's the kind of thing the Sig Ot wants to stay on top of. But she already knew! She knows these things before they hit the internet somehow. She must have inside Hollywood sources who send her urgent text messages or something.
What do I think of them? I dunno, I've often been compared to Brad Pitt. Okay, okay! My hair was once compared to his as far as color and style by someone, but that's still being compared to him, right? huh? Having a "brad hair" day?
Jen? Well, I've always thought she was hot, no question she could likely have her way with me. Other'n that? eh?
Who is surprised by this? They are a "Hollywood" couple. They don't live in the real world. I don't feel sorry for them and the incredible "pressure" on their marriage. Pressure? Like having a kabillion dollars and a pampered lifestyle? Yeah my heart goes out to them.
I know where they went wrong. They actually got married and tried to have a normal relationship. That's not how it works in Hollywood. First, don't get married. That way you have that whole "we don't need a piece of paper to prove our love, screw you conventional society and your outdated morals" thing. Thumbing your nose at society is a great bonding experience. Then you have, like three kids, who you name after fruit or spices or a hotel chain. You and your "partner" and little Oregano, Ramada and Cumquat slink around town avoiding the "media glare". This is how it's done. I hope in the future that Hollywood couples will take my advice.
*Confidentional to Jen* sweetie, if you need a shoulder, I'm there. (confidential to Sig Ot, you of course know I wrote that just for literary purposes, if contacted by Ms.Anniston I would of course tell her "sorry, no way and stop calling me, you little bitch!" or something like that).
But I have no interest in watching these people and their little escapades. Except that I do... for gambling purposes. I have a little bet on the over/under of the Britney marriage. Now betting on Hollywood fiasco marriages, THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT.

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