whatever Lola wants, Lola gets...
I have remained silent on a recent news story lo these past few days because frankly it's just too obvious and I like to think I'm better than that. (not really, but I often say lofty things early in the morning).
That's right the whole Tiger eating that Roy guy incident. It may say something about yours truly that I actually chuckled when I first heard the story. While this sounds cruel to be sure, there is background for this. While in Vegas a couple of years back I was at whichever hotel has he and his partners show (Bellagio?) and saw some little film clip of either or the other guy (couldn't tell ya the difference) poking the tiger with his microphone to get him to do things. I said right there on the spot "I hope that Tiger rips his head off one of these times". I never realized I had such power!! I better watch what I say in the future eh?
Here's the kicker. Now the non-Roy part of this dynamic duo, is speculating that the Tiger was trying to help not hurt Roy. That he suffered a mild stroke of some kind and the Tiger grabbed him by the neck to take him to safety. Uh-huh. It's not mind you, that I don't think tigers or animals in general are smart enough to conceive of such a thing. Why I think animals are highly intelligent and I am a big admirer of them. BUT here's what I think happened really.
Royguy: *pops tiger on nose with microphone* "Up Simba Up!"
Tiger: If that fruitloop pops me on the nose one more time, I'll rip off his head and shiote down his neck. And my name is not Simba, Nancy Boy. It's Janet, Miss Jackson if you're nasty.
Royguy: *pops tiger on nose again* Simba! Simba! Sit up for the people!
Tiger: Duuude. I swear do not do that again. Five years of this crap and I am really sick of it.
Royguy: *pops tiger on nose even harder* Simba! You will stand now!!!
Tiger: My name is not Simba flameboy! I warned you, I'm not taking the shiote anymore!!!
Tiger grabs Roy and slings him around like a wet noodle.
Or as the ancient Chinese Proverb says:
He who stick head in Tiger's mouth wearing gold lame'will lose face. Or something like that.