Just when you think you've seen it all.
As those who know me will testify, nothing gets my colorful boxers in a wad like the government wasting our money.
This weekend whilst enjoying some sports on TV, in between the never ending moving festivities, I saw the oddest thing. Advertisements for the "new $20 bill"!!! exsqueeze me? bakin' powder? What?!?!?
Can anyone help me out on this one? Is this necessary? Do I have a choice not to use the new $20 bill?
Is this the scene they expect to play out?
*fade to a run-down "modular" home in a sleepy small town. A man wearing a wife-beater with pronounced gravy stains watches television while his wife is ironing the confederate flag that normally covers the "picture" window*
An ad for the new $20 bill comes on.
"Dammit Ethel! C'mere and look at this!!he bellows.
"Glory be Homer!" says Ethel.
"Isn't that the pertiest thang you ever saw" asks Homer while belching.
"It is truly a sight" says Ethel wistfuly.
"Ethel, I have to go get me some of those newfangled dollars" proclaims Homer.
"Homer! You don't mean that..." starts Ethel.
"Yep, that's rite Ethel, there's a gonna be some changes round here. I"m going to get me a job and turn my life around. We will have us a $20 bill Ethel, I promise" exclaimed Homer.
"Oh Homer!" said Ethel throwing her arms around 1/10 of her common law husband.
I saw a story yesterday morning that the government is spending 30 million dollars on this ad campaign! Are ya kidding me people!
DO NOT! I SWEAR DO NOT TELL ME THAT MY 50% TAX RATE IS NOT ENOUGH WHEN YOU CAN SPEND IT ON AN AD CAMPAIGN FOR SOMETHING I HAVE TO USE WHETHER I WANT TO OR NOT!! OBVIOUSLY SOMEBODY HAS WAY TOO MUCH MONEY TO PLAY AROUND WITH IN WASHINGTON FREAKING D.C.!!
Okay, whew. I feel better now. This is the kind of stuff that's going to give me a stroke one of these days.
It seems to me it was only four or five years ago that they changed our money. If memory serves me correctly, I went to the gumball ATM, put in the magic card and out spit the twenties. I thought "my god our founding fathers had freakishly bulbous heads! They had to found a country where their huge heads were accepted!" But no ads were necessary. I took my money and spent it on hookers and booze just as always.
Psst. By the way and for the record, the new $20 bill design sucks ass.