Ode to NASCAR [ 2003-02-24, 6:49 a.m. ]

NASCAR is the strangest thing. I can't decide what I think of it. I watch it sometimes it's not bad entertainment really. I am still not sure if it's a sport but nothing wrong with entertainment. As I've stated before if you want me to call it a sport then make the pitstops self service. If the driver jumps out and changes all four tires, fills the tank with gas, beats on the fender some now THAT might be a sport. But that's beside the point. My real struggle with being a "fan" is really the culture of the whole thing.

Despite my southern roots there is only so far I care to travel down the "white trash highway". That and the off-putting nearly homo-erotic worship of the drivers themselves that the male fans have. They wear these gaudy ass shirts emblazended with "Dale Jr is my Jesus" or whatever and of course the omnipresent, "I even wear it to shower in" baseball cap with the driver's number on it. Of course you have to have something on your vehicle too. Your guys number or to glorify Ford or Chevy. Certainly, it's not enough to support your driver or maker of cars, you must trash the rest. You need a bumper sticker saying "I'd rather you kill my wife than make my drive a Chevy" or "Ford drivers should burn in hell". As anyone will tell you, every other driver but yours is "gay" or a "cheater". It's never "he ran a good race and beat my guy" etc it's "I read he blew a NASCAR official before the race, of course he won".

But anyway, if I can distance myself from this crowd I would be okay with it all. But you can't. Of all the "sports" this may be the one that the difference in particpate and fan is the smallest. So don't be looking for a big number "8" on the back of my pickup anytime. But I will continue to mock the fans, I can't resist. Like when Earnhardt Jr (who can do nothing wrong in a race fans eyes) spins around and ends up in the infield and I say "Hadn't been an Earnhardt yet who could keep it on the track" and watch the blood pressure rise to stroke levels. Priceless.

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4 - 2006-07-04

The bacon rebellion - 2006-06-25

scattergories - 2006-06-19

once more into the breach boys - 2006-06-05

not so famous last words - 2006-01-06

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