One of the most irritating parts of my job is the constant calls from salespeople I get. All day long the phone rings with people trying to get in the door. Sometimes they just show up. At month end especially when trying to make their quota it picks up.
Now I am normally a very pleasant person (really I am, I swear) and I always start out nice in my script of why stopping by is a waste of time. But when the push becomes a shove, I can lose it. Yesterday I had a fine example of this from a copy paper salesman. For some reason the sellers of copy paper and toilet paper are the pushiest.
He: Hello Mr. (fumbles over my easy to say last name) my name is (inaudible but sounded like asswipe)and blah blah recites his speech for what seems like 10 minutes.
Me: Thank you but no. It's all on corporate contract and I have no needs in this area at this time.
He: But I can save you x on these. Does saving money not appeal to you?
Me: (not caring for the tone just used) Well hotshot your price is twice what I pay now, so yes saving money apparently does appeal to me.
He: That was list price I quoted you would of course get 60% off that.
Me: No thanks.
He: Maybe I could speak to your boss maybe they are interested in value. I wonder what they would say if they heard this deal. Can you transfer me?
Me:She'd wonder why I was transferring some asshole to her regarding copy paper.
click.
But the one of the best of all time occurred last week. There was a rep who was calling me every couple of months. She sounded about 13 and was nice so I'd talk to her a bit. I'd be upfront about not being able to use anything. She would ask if she could call back in a few weeks just to check and I'd say sure. I get a call from someone there who it turns out is her father and the head of the company. He says that his daughter was quite upset at never having gotten a sale despite being told to call back and send info. I again try to ignore this and get off the phone but he insists on continuing. I have had enough.
Me:Maybe she is too fragile to be in sales if she is so upset.
He: I don't need you telling me how to run my business.
Me:I don't give a crap sir, you are the one who brought the subject up.
He:I take that as a personal insult.
Me:Take it as an enema for all I care.
He:I will make a note that you are a hostile customer.
Me: Does that mean your child won't call me? Wow, I may cry now myself.
He: This is quite unprofessional.
Me: Yes I hope it is.
He: I guess you are on a power trip of some sort.
Me: Yes I...click.
Geez. When does this sort of sales approach work? Oh, you called me an asshole? Yes now I am intrigued by your space age copy paper sir!
Oh well at least I get to amuse myself every so often with it.