Last night I continued my quest for a summer of zen-like peace and tranquility, a summer of love if you will. I drove to the grocery store to get a few things for dinner. As I exited my truck I helped an old lady with her cart, the birds were frollicking around some crumbs on the ground, I stopped to smell some of the flowers for sale. Humming a peaceful tune, I entered the store. As I grab my cart....
(we interrupt the zen-like peace for a short outburst of worldy negative vibes)
A WOMAN WITH FIFTY KIDS IN AND ON HER CART PAYING NO ATTENTION WHATSOEVER BACKS INTO MY CART NEARLY KNOCKING ME AND IT INTO A DISPLAY WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A F*** YOU VERY MUCH! I SHOULD DO THE WORLD A FAVOR AND KILL YOU SO THAT YOU CAN'T PRODUCE ANY MORE MULLETT RIDDLED OFFSPRING DESTINED FOR PRISON!!WHAT IS THIS DISPLAY? NEW CLEAR SPRITE!!!! ISN'T SPRITE ALREADY CLEAR??? WHAT THE F***? HOW CAN SOMETHING ALREADY CLEAR BE MORE CLEAR? AND WHY WON'T THEY LEAVE SOFT DRINKS ALONE! RED DOCTOR PEPPER, BLUE PEPSI, WHAT DUMBA** COMES UP WITH THIS STUFF? A COLA SHOULD LOOK LIKE A COLA! THEY ARE PAYING BIG MONEY FOR SOME MORONS TO SIT AROUND SMOKING WEED ALL DAY AND GIGGLING "DUUUUDE, LET'S MAKE IT RED!" GAWWWDDDD! FIRE THESE PEOPLE, SAVE MONEY AND LOWER THE PRICE SO I CAN ENJOY MORE PROPERLY COLORED DOCTOR PEPPERS YOU F***ING IMBECILES!!!!
(we regret that we have to preempt this entry as the protaganist clearly is struggling to find his inner peace still, in the meantime we offer soft rock hits of the 70's and 80's commercial free for your peaceful enjoyment. And now some Air Supply for you)