like...ohmygod.
When o'when did I become such a major reeetard creature of habit? I used to be known as someone "unpredictable", "a loose cannon", "wild and crazy". Now? You can set your watch by me.
I swear that staying up until midnight or past on New Years Eve just about killed me. And going to the Peach Bowl Friday night as well? Murderous. Of course getting up before farmers have even scratched their asses in the morning doesn't help. (dear gawd what did that sentence even mean? see I am still recovering).
It was only a couple of years ago when I would get a call from drunken friends at 2am on work nights and I would think nothing of throwing on some clothes and heading out the door if fun was to be had, especially fun of the female-driven variety. Now? Heh? Miss sleep on a work night?
Gutterpoet:snore,snore, snort, sleeping.
The phone rings it's 2am.
GP: Ughhhllyynpthoen thoenthl...
Britney Spears:Like hello gutterpoet or something.
GP:What the hell...
BS:Like I know it's late and stuff, but I'm going through some stuff with the marriage and annulment and everything...
GP:That's nice how did you get my number again..
BS:and like I'm really drunk and stuff like that. And horny. And like I need a man in the worst way..
GP:Ummm. Could we do lunch tomorrow? Really it's late and..
BS:I mean like I want you to just do whatever you'd like to me no matter how perverted and you can like film it and stuff to show your friends...
BS:Look sweatheart, really. I've got a meeting in the morning and the coffee pot is all set to brew at 5:15am and I gotta be here for that so really...
click. hangs up phone.
I mean jimmeny. I'm not that old yet. I suppose though that life is finally beating me down like it always does to us all. You will fall in line, you will go to work and you will go to bed early. Dam life.
But the routine itself has become central to me. I am actually comforted by it all. Each hour has it's thing. I walk the dog at this time. At 7pm I need to be making dinner and watching Seinfeld reruns. Blah, blah, blah. The days I don't do this sort of routine? I am all out of sorts.
I should take a lesson from my canine companion about this. Dogs absolutely live for routine. If you've let them out at 5am for the last seven days buddy they will come get your ass at 5:02 the first day you don't. I never taught my dog to read and comprehend a clock! They must be born with that or something. Yes must ask the dog about this.
"Nik. Yo Nik."
"Why do you love routine so much?"
Nik says nothing but licks her own crotch. Hmmm.
I guess if I could do that I'd be cool with whatever too.
Shit. It's 5pm. Gotta have a glass of tea and watch Dr. Phil or my whole evening will be screwed up.