I have come to the realization that if I don't stop letting trivial matters send me into orbit, my head will explode very soon. The first one I am going to work on is the little cliche's we all use on a daily basis. I must stop these from bothering me.
Most days it is my desire in the mornings to grab some coffee and make my way back to my enclave without having to engage in the usual pleasantries with co-workers. But that never happens.
Today being Friday the 13th I am bracing for even more than the usual onslaught. Already today I've been hit with one of my faves. "It's Friday!" was screamed at me as if I had subliminally asked. "yes" I mumbled, my blood pressure soaring as I poured my coffee my head down. But she was not done. "and it's paaaaydaaay Friday too! she said doing a little dance. Perkiness and cliche do not mix at 7am. Granted I am on some level glad that yes it's Friday and that I have a paycheck today as well. But man oh man, all day long I will have this directed at me. I must have a perpetual "I'm confused as to what day it is and when my employer pays me" look on my face.
The one I'm bracing for now is the "oh yeah it's Friday the 13th!" excuse today everytime any minute misfortune happens.
But today this will not bother me. It will not bother me. Repeat it will not bother me.
And then there's the grand-daddy of them all. The obligatory "how are you" or "how's it going" greeting answer. Though the way a person repeatedly answers this will tell you something about the person often.
The answer. "fair to partly cloudy"--someone trying to be witty but whose idea of wit comes from Hee Haw reruns.
"If I was any better I couldn't stand it"--this person has suicidal tendancies and is using this response as a cry for help.
"Ohhh...(slight pause) it's going". this person is really saying "I know you don't care but I long to tell someone the many ways my existence is futile".
Alright, you say, Mr. Holier than thou Poet how do you answer the standard greeting. Since the person is merely using a standard greeting and does not really care how I am, I say "fine" or "good" or "I'm well and you?". I think that's all really. Now if you have been out sick or had a death in the family and you get the "How are you?" with a sympathy hand on the shoulder, a "better" would be used then. Creativity in your answer should be saved for something like meeting people in bars but every now and then, a canned greeting that is a perfect mix with a personna can be endearing. I worked once with an old codger who had very few teeth. He had to be about 120 years old. He didn't say much just did his work slumped over all day. His answer was the same everytime but it always made me laugh. He'd look up and say "If I's any better, I'd shiote myself". And of course being mentally 13 I will laugh anytime I hear the word shiote. But for him it worked, it became a trademark.
Now see again this is why I will soon have a stroke and why "she who waits for me to blow a gasket so that she can cash in my life insurance and move to Tahiti and be serviced by studly pool boys" is already counting her money, these things get to me. But not today! I want to live! I can overcome!
Who am I kidding? I'm merely one "I'm fine as a frog's hair" from meeting my maker. Oh well, you gotta go sometime!