As my summer search for peace and zen-like tranquility continues, one element that must not be ignored is spirituality. While I would consider myself spiritual, I don't tend to do well with organized entities. I don't play well with others I guess. I tend to say things like "Jesus was a bartender if you think about it". So you see how that wouldn't go over.
The sects that I get along with the best, the middle of the road "we don't want to offend" brand of Protestants can be a kind of boring, let's face it.The Baptists are scary and all but put on a good show. And I love the wonderful stories of the Zen Buddhists.
My answer? Not being one to simply sit by idle and bemoan my plight, I have conceived an idea. That's right, Zen Baptist! A little wisdom, a little fire and brimstone, some catchy sayings a snake or two and dagnabbit, I think you have the makings for a fine little religon. It might go a little something like this were I the preacher.
"I am reminded my friends of the time the Zen Master was approached by a young lady of his flock. She asked the kindly old man to help with a dilemma she and her parents had. It seems the young lady was 15 and her parents thought her too young to go on dates, but the young lady insisted her friends were dating and wondered why couldn't she? The Zen Master smiled a kindly smile and said, Like the butterfly who starts as a homely caterpiller...... YOU MUST REALIZE THAT GOING ON DATES WILL ONLY LEAD TO FORNICATION YOU LITTLE SLUT!!! YOU WILL BURN IN ETERNAL HELL!!! BURN BURN BURN!! YOU MUST REPENT YOUR SINS AND BOW DOWN FOR FORGIVENESS FOR EVEN HAVING SUCH THOUGHTS YOU LITTLE TROLLUP! HOW WILL YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND FEEL WHEN YOU WHORED YOURSELF OUT DURING HIGH SCHOOL! REPENT! REPENT!......for as the flower must be nurtured and loved by the sunlight to bloom in it's time, so must you too take your time to bloom and be the beautiful sweet child you are my dear.
Okay so I'm still have some work to do to make it mesh a little better, but I am very enthused by my progress so far.
Peace be with you my brethern.