I hate to keep going on and on about this. (editor's note: actually he loves going on and on about this).
But this very morning I saved two deer from certain death. With my keen eyesight and Native American-ish (editor's note: here he is trying to please but in his own head he would say "Indian") ability to sense what is ahead, I stopped and allowed Bambi and Mom to cross and get safely into the woods. People! I'm out here basically saving the animal population by myself! It's a burden but I don't mind. HOWEVER, I would like to start seeing some karmadic rewards headed my way. I'm not saying it has to be a lot, just something that shows me Mother Earth (editor's note: Mother Earth? Damned tree hugger) is appreciative of my efforts. I don't care to wait 50 odd years until my death for reward from some higher being dammit! Come on Higher Being/Karmadic Forces of Nature what have you done for me lately??!!??
Unidentified Female who recieved my Christmas list:
"That was quite humorous that you put that adult Paris Hilton video on your Christmas list! You are so crazy!"
Me: "What? Humorous?" pause..."yeah, yeah, I'm a damn riot..." (editor's note: let's hope the Feds never get a hold of his hard drive)
But speaking of Parisite Hilton (edior's note: Sadly he finds this play on her name quite funny and is proud of himself) what is the deal with that show with her and the Lionel Richie's daughter chick on a farm? That is messed up. Are these celebs like them and Anna Nicole and what'sherfacewiththehotbody on MTV...Jessica Simpson! that's it...so starved for attention that being made fun of by the everyone is worth it? Or are they like that one person you know who you always make fun of, right in front of their face, but they never seem to get it and think you are their best friend?
By the way, a confession. (editor's note: he is actually on his knees in a booth as he types this, the freak) Forgive me father but I have been watching and gulp, enjoying the new Joe Millionaire. I love those crazy Euro girls and their binge drinking and backstabbing. Anique could so be my girlfriend du-jour.
Whew. Thanks I feel better now having admitted that.
I will go and sin some more...I mean no more!