Is it just me? Real Conversations with real people. Maybe a word or two changed to amuse myself.
...Joe Millionaire...unidentified female friend.
"That Sarah was such a whore, I was so happy she lost"
me..."A whore? That's kind of harsh."
UFF:"She barely knew this guy and blew him in the woods and god knows what else. What a golddigger!"
me: "Well, have you never had ummm. "relations" with a guy you barely knew before?"
UFF: sigh and pause "yes but that was different, I wasn't after some guys money!"
me: "Ahh, so to do that with purpose and a goal is immoral but to do so randomly and casually is noble?"
UFF:"I so hate you sometimes"
I've lost ten pounds in a month. How? By, gasp, eating less and exercising more. Bear in mind I work with healthcare professionals.
Apparently it's noticeable now and I am asked by people what I am doing.
Me: yes about 10 pounds so far thanks, I have met my goal.
Coworker X: What plan are you on?
Me: No real plan, use more calories than I take in basically.
CX: My friend lost 10 pds gargling with bull semen every morning, are you doing that?
Me: No, working out everyday and cutting down on carbs.
Coworker Y: I have lost weight several times by eating cockroaches before meals, they get in your stomach and eat the fat before it hits your body.
Coworker Z: My daughter lost thirty pounds be being decapitated, I am trying to get in to see her doctor.
I am going to regain the weight just to avoid these conversations.