Well it's on.
That's right. Finally we can all sleep a little more soundly. Children can again frolic in the streets without fear. Yep, they are finally putting the evil of all evil, Martha Stewart on trial. Thank God we are finally doing something meaningful about crime in this country.
Please tell me my taxes aren't paying for this.
Regardless, Martha is above all a survivor. Why if you can make a meal to feed fifty out of a few saltines, a dirty napkin and dingleberries then you can survive in prison my friends. Hell, she could even continue her show from there.
Martha: "Welcome to my cell. Today is Valentines Day. Apparently, I am to become the bitch of my cell mate Yotoqueasha tonight. So I've taken soap and a few peanuts and fashioned a lovely dildo as a gift for her. With a little effort and ingenuity you can turn any prison-lesbian-orgy into a special occassion."
Cream always rises to the top my friends. Never forget that.
I have no dog in this fight but I dunno, I am kind of pulling for the old girl. I do like my table to look fancy for dinner and I need to know how dammit. And I've bought some of her stuff at Kmart for my house and it was pretty cheap and looked good and worked for me. I'm loyal like that. I'll admit she seems a bit cold and detached but she's from New England for goshsakes, isn't everyone from up there like that?
Insider trading. Who doesn't insider trade these days? If I was smart enough to know how and possessed some information, I could see doing that. I want to be rich and famous and live a meaningless, extravagant, wasteful lifestyle as much as the next guy.
By god if she goes down but Michael Jackson walks there will be riots on the streets. Well maybe not riots, I mean these will be snobby, wealthy, white people after all, but there will be trouble if their Icon goes down just the same! They'll line their limo's up and disrupt traffic in the middle of New York! At least until the Dom they'll be drinking runs out anyway. One just can't properly protest with cheap champagne after all.
Who will they go after next? Emeril? I can see that. There's something shifty about that bastard and all his "bam's".