ahhh. Rain in the forecast. But that's ok, because I received a new umbrella for Christmas to replace the one that didn't quite make it safely through the last tropical storm that blew through here last fall (rest in piece old friend).
I even remembered to bring it with me this morning (fine, so the Sig Ot had to set it near my keys so I wouldn't forget, but I STILL had to pick the thing up myself, ya know?). **slips into James Earl Jones voiceover mode** "Clipper Mist by London Fog, a real man's umbrella. Tough as nails and bravely defying moisture like no umbrella before..."
Clipper Mist? Doesn't that mean like spray off a boat? Not very dry sounding there. Now if it was me doing the naming for products like this? Ahem, I'd have a better name that's for sure.
Let's see something that stops water...
The "dyke"! oh, sorry no that means a lot more than stopping water these days, "You'll never need to stick a finger in this Dyke!" ummm, well...Ok then, the "Dam". Stopping water like the...oh wait. The government goons at the FCC would shut me down for "swearing".
"The Imperial Impervious Maker"! Very Willa Wonka and all. But you know, since we don't teach kids actual English any longer, no one will know what impervious means in a few years.
Alright, so no words with double meaning or swear words or big words the general public won't understand...
Ahhh! "Mr. Dry". Whoopsy, though. See that infers the sexist notion that only a male umbrella and not a female umbrella could keep one dry. Although if the competition was nagging...(I didn't mean to type that, my hands slipped I swear to gawd, slap! slap! you bad, bad hand).
Alright, so I wouldn't make it in advertising. I'll call my umbrella what I call it and you call yours whatever you call it.
Maybe I'd just better call mine Bob.

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