Believe it or not, I now update my bathroom situation at work BY POPULAR DEMAND. No lie. Okay I say "popular demand" it means two people but for me that is as close to popular demand as this humble writer will ever get.
Over a year ago, I discovered a virtual oasis, my sanctum sanctorum if you will. A bathroom on an abandoned floor that no one else seemed to know about. It was huge, as big as your average living room. And mine all mine.
A few months later, I discovered I was no longer alone in my paradise. I went on a stake out to find the identity of the hideous invader of my beloved retreat. It was a very attractive and seemingly clean young lady. We have continued on as bathroom buddies in harmony ever since, never once running into one another coming or going.
Now back in the present, as I arrived at work last Monday I had a rude surprise awaiting me. Seeking the comfort of my retreat about 7:30am as per usual, I was startled out of my senses as I got there. During the weekend they had chopped my bathroom into two! Likely in anticipation of soon building on this floor, they had made a Men's and a Women's restroom out of my huge bathroom.
Damned progress! My eden-like Enclave ruined by mans thirst for profit. Obviously.
I continued to use this facility unabated however, it still being a haven from sharing with the riff-raff I work with. Last Friday afternoon, I had to visit the area at a time very uncommon for me. I had no sooner transacted my business there, when I heard the tell-tale cloppity-clomp of high-heels coming up the steps to the floor. I ditched off in the very same empty room as my previous stake-out. Indeed, it was my bathroom buddy making her afternoon visit. Then a curious thing happened. She went into and then used the Men's room. I stayed in my spot as she left to verify that she was indeed a female. By visual confirmation she was indeed female. Very, very female or at least such a good fascimile of a female that one just wouldn't care. ahem.
I figure she is still unaware that I exist and therefore just using the first one she comes to. So Monday I switched to the Women's restroom so that we would each have our own.
Now all is again well in my bathroom world. Sure I miss the wide open spaces of the old bathroom. But I still have my space away from the huddled masses of asses.
And I think my bathroom buddy and I have struck a blow for equality with our cross-gender bathroom switch. It takes a secure man to use a woman's restroom.
You may say that's a bit hyperbolic but you're just jealous because you don't have such a bathroom at your disposal.
Envy is a sin you know.