Home a while this morning due to more problems...in the meantime....
I have over the past few months been in the process of doing a survey. I have asked this question:
What should I be when I grow up?
The answers were often less than helpful, from "dude, how old are you anyway?" to "I'm not sure you ever will actually grow up". So I started also asking what others thought my best skills were. There were some answers that might be helpful. I think.
"You're good at talking people into stuff".
Yes, this is true. So what would you say? Sales? Nope.
This skill only works when the result is something for me. Like talking girls I've dated into things.
"Yes, I really did read in Prevention that this will help your sore throat. It's something about the protein."
Selling pens? Couldn't care less.
"You always win at trivia".
Again true. I never lose in trivial pursuit. In fact, I have as much useless trivia in my head as Cliff Claven. But what does that qualify me for? Replacing Alex Trabeck someday? I'd look horrible with a curly perm and a moustache. Though, I do think it would give me kind of a porn actor look. Hey! Porn actor....ummm next.
"You are hilarious when you are drunk".
Again I'm not real sure what to do with this. I know they have professional shoppers to go with you when you shop. What about "rent a drinking buddy"? Can't find a friend to drink with? Dial 1-800-BAR-PALS.
Hmmm. I'll have to do a market survey on that one.
Wait. What the hell? (be right back).
Back.
A couple of teeth challenged individuals were walking through my yard with a shovel. I yelled out the front door, "what the hell are you doing"? They chatted with each other for a second amoungst themselves probably calling me things other than a child of god, but then left. What the hell?
Okay, good at yelling at people in my yard? Hmmm.
"You are good at spewing out bullshit and making it sound reasonable".
A politician? oh, maybe a lobbyist? Again though, to do this well I have to believe in what I am talking about.
That's it. I will spearhead a lobby for more hot lesbian sex scenes in Hollywood movies. Because I do care about that.
I am left with a quite singular impression after re-reading this entry.
I'm damn lucky to somehow have and keep a job and I'd better go get dressed and go there now.

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