A smoothie by any other name is delicious [ 2004-07-12, 8:59 a.m. ]

which entry? testicles or tofu? yes, testicles or tofu, that is the question. Tofu, since I'm at work. Though I can't promise there won't still be mention of the former as I am seemingly testicentric today. (huh?)

At my physical last week when weighed I was about eight pounds above this time last year. The doctor said my weight was absolutely fine, but what do doctors know? I need those eight pounds by the beach trip (early sept) so that as always chicks will faint on the spot from the hotness I will be. (not so much *faint* but ignore me. you know in that way that's obviously fighting the burning desire for me burning in their loins that would make them forever unsatisfied with the significant others by comparison).

Therefore I determined to cut back a smidge on food and raise the exercise a smidge and I should easily meet that goal on time.

But there's a reason that I think we have so many lard-ass men out there. It's hard to feel very manly with the less fattening menu selections. Look at the word *tofu* just for starters. My god I may as well be wearing "F'me pumps" with fishnet stockings when I say it. Most men couldn't order a tofu salad. If they could make some changes with the wording though it might help. Instead of tofu salad, call it "Raw mystery meat over a severed head of lettuce". Now that's manly!

Also if you put the word "bbq" or "texas" in front it takes some of the lacey panty effect off. The word "veggie" is bad too. Don't call it "steamed veggies on the side" for goshsakes. Call it "texas bbq carcass of pulverized roots with some gravel on top". Now you've got a manly side order.

And healthy drinks? Not much better. "Fruit smoothie"? Dear lord. Give it a name like a poisonous, liver eating bar drink. A strawberry smoothie could be the "widowmaker". Now I could order that!

So if you think your man could be in better shape, it might not be just the beer swilling and laying on the couch that's doing it. It might be that to order healthy most places means you have to hand over your testicles to do so.

I actually used that word more than tofu this entry. Maybe this was the testicle entry after all.

Well gotta go have my morning snack. Texas style bbq rack of carrot stick. Rare.

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4 - 2006-07-04

The bacon rebellion - 2006-06-25

scattergories - 2006-06-19

once more into the breach boys - 2006-06-05

not so famous last words - 2006-01-06

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