oh no they didn't!! part one [ 2004-08-13, 9:33 a.m. ]

This is so long I'm breaking it up. Here's part one of what may become a friggin mini-series I am afraid.

Day 1

A reasonable citizen

I�ve had a prescription plan for years and have never had to use it before. Went to the website to fill out the forms to get my scrip mail ordered as described under my plan as the "cheapest, easiest way". However, never having used this service, I had no password setup for myself and had no idea the answer to the challenge question. I calmly filled out the form for tech support and sent it in. I understand it may take a while to get a response, no big deal.

Day 2

Our hero grows restless

I received that morning a canned email response from tech support about using the �forgot my password with challenge question� option. Grrrr. Or I could call them at 1-800-LAM-EASS. I call the number and listen to the exciting options given me. I chose the appropriate one and then go on hold and hear how �your convenience is our first priority�. Some less than enthusiastic words are muttered under my breath. 15 minutes of my life, that I�ll never get back, fall through the hourglass. Then the mind-numbing soundtrack ceases and I await a friendly helpful voice to appear. However, a click and the dial tone are all I hear. It�s late in the day, I am annoyed but I�ve got places to be and people to do.

Day 3

The Empire strikes back

Bright-tailed and busy-eyed, I call first thing thinking I�ll not have to wait on hold as long before they hang up on me. I get the gum chomping Gina right away. Using her GED for all it�s worth, it takes Ms. Gum Chomper about five minutes to locate my account despite having been supplied by me with the account number. �Oh there you are! She says, obviously pleased with her display of prowess. I briefly explain that I need my password reset. �Oh no!� she exclaims, �you need technical support�. �Yes� says I, �that would be why I selected the technical support option.� �But I�m not technical support, you�ll have to call them�.

I begin to ask if she, Ms. Gina Gum Chomper, could give my request to them for me, when she blurts out �have a great day!� and hangs up. I vow to someday kill Ms. Gum Chomper.

I go back into the website and send the following to them.

�This is my second email. I need the password reset so that I can enter a prescription. I have called twice. Once I was on hold 15 minutes and then hung up on. The second time I was told technical assistance was not in. I have been trying to simply put in my prescription now for three days this is absolutely ridiculous. Do not send me another canned form response. If I knew the answer to the challenge question I likely would know my password! I have had this now for three years and never used it so I don't know how it was set up originally. It's a good thing I've not needed any prescriptions and a good thing it's not a medical urgency at the moment.

Is there someone I can talk to who can actually help me with this?�

If they send me another canned response I will commence mayhem upon these freaks.

And of course this now means war!

Stay tuned for the exciting (okay mildly interesting at least? maybe. sort of?)

conclusion! It may end up with death and dismemberment before all is said and done.

last - next

4 - 2006-07-04

The bacon rebellion - 2006-06-25

scattergories - 2006-06-19

once more into the breach boys - 2006-06-05

not so famous last words - 2006-01-06

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