Oh those simple fools who employ me.
At the moment I have no direct boss so the Big Boss there told me to fill out some self-evaluation thing and she would work on it and appraise the merit increase.
It may surprise anyone who reads me very often but I can, if I really concentrate, manage to dish out the Bullshiote a little bit. Alright a lotta bit. And since this same person often employs me to write her memo's to corporate she should know as well.
Heh. There was space provided for about two or three sentences to the questions. Nah, I don't think so. I referred each question to an attached answer sheet that was two pages long.
I won't bore this diary with the list of my wonderfulness but suffice it to say apparently I can walk on water, create a feast from a fish and a loaf, and have parted a sea or two in my time. And no one even knew the new Messiah was in their midsts!
Oh yeah of course they had the old "what do you feel you can improve on?" question. A trap my friends a trap. My answer of course was that I needed to realize that I couldn't do it all myself, even if I usually could, and needed to delegate and reduce my workload. And you have to use your "power words" to start each sentence. YOu know like "manages" or "directs" or whatever makes you sound commanding. I was a bit more aggressive with those. I didn't supervise employees who etc. I "beat the hell" out of employees to accomplish x,y,z. I'm thinking of doing a helpful pamphlet on all this.
Obviously this whole self evaluation is just a dance really, the raise is probably already determined in their minds.
But surely you'd have to give Jesus a pretty good raise, wouldn't you?