The drive in this morning was quite gourgeous. We had a dusting of snow overnight that covered everything in sight while not sticking on the roads or sidewalks and making them slickery.
The snow was very cotton candy-ish fluffy like in one of those horrid Thomas Kincaide paintings...
****The narrator steps in... soft spotlight behind him****
*This man, this self-described "poet" who has written possibly one poem in his entire life (and that of dubious quality) is now about to slip into artsy fartsy critic mode and tell us what is wrong with these paintings. Nevermind that his idea of a grand painting is a Van Gogh, a blurry distant landscape making one feel in need of corrective lenses, no nevermind that. Just picture him for the whole of his ranting as wearing a black turtleneck, drab charcoal trousers and purposefully scuffed italian loafers, his hair carefully placed into disaray and then plastered into same with hairspray while sipping tea that costs $100 an ounce as it grown specially by seven Tibetan Monks who have not spoken a word in 27 years and who only harvest the tea every third year, but which he then covers with the current trendy fake sugar du jour because god forbid someone actually use real sugar anymore!****
Thomas Kincaide! err. Dag, this turtleneck is scratchy on my neck...Thomas Kincaide painter of redundancy !(notice the attempt to draw in Kincaide fans from google by using the name over and over before I go off on him) Painter by numbers! Every single painting is the exact same! You bought one? Let's see, let me guess. Little country church on a hillside, pristine little mountains all around, cotton candy snow on the landscape, an old fashioned street light or two warmly beckons all. Something like that?
ARgggghhh!
I don't mind the religious theme mind you, why many of the greatest paintings ever were religious in nature. But those who buy these paintings put them on the wall as if to point out that they are more religious than you because they bought a $1000 worth of freakin' redundancy! Puh-leaze, I think God may actually mock you for your stupidity!
And while I most certainly am not among the ranks of nimrods who will worship a piece of canvas someone simply sneezed on.."look look! the bloody booger up there symbolizes the blood spilled by modern man in his attempt to break the bonds of enslavment by the evil industrial complex so aptly symbolized by the crusty snot below"....I do need a little more out of a painting thank you.
Ahem. But yes the drive in was beautiful. Coming by the mountain as the sun rose, the snow covered branches of the trees created a stark contrast with the light dawning behind it, almost monochromatically as if in an Ansel Adams photograph...Ansel Adams! Photographer of redundancy!! Oh look a bare tree I'll take a thousand freakin.....
**this entry mercifully stopped by the editor. Please forgive him, he'll be ok if he simply takes some meds.**

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