Sometimes you look at yourself and wonder "who in the hell is this freak?"
I've been thinking lately. Yeah! Thinking! Without the help of any modern medications. Spooky.
But thinking of where I want to be in say five years. Not only that, I am researching this as if really working on such a plan.
"Did I bang my head on something and then blacked out and then somehow woke up as an adult?"
It's like a Disney film starring Kurt Russell when he was a teenager.
What's next? Intelligent choices? Gag. This is all just scary. I need to regroup and plug into my inner arrestedly developed self. I need to laugh when I hear about the South Carolina GameCOCKS. I need to go find my old Beavis and Butthead episodes I have taped. It's time for drastic action! If I can grow up, well, it could happen to anyone!
It's my own fault though. I can't recall the last time I stayed out until 5am drinking and had to call in sick. I can't recall the last bill that I ignored and ignored until I received that "warning! account about to go to collections" message. Those people aren't really interested in payment until they send you that.
Unwittingly, through responsible behavior, I ended up more responsible! You know how they warn you that your "face will freeze that way" when you are a kid? Same thing, man, same thing.
My gawd it's just a small step now to being someone's dad and standing in my front yard with strangely out of fashion shorts, black socks with tennis shoes and a wife beater t-shirt watering the lawn glaring at the neighbors teenage daughter (because the juvenile within can be contained but never killed) and talking about those damned weeds.
Those Goddamned Weeds!
Kill me now.
But you have to adapt don't you? You know how you see these 60 year old dudes wearing the latest rapper wear sometimes. That's just wrong people, wrong.
You can see my dillema. If I hang on to all that I hold dear, being free and irresponsible then I risk turning into one of those creepy old guys in a bar with nothing or else I'm doing the whole white picket fence with a vine covered family...err I mean house, thing.
I can't deal with it all tonight. I'm gonna go type gross things into google image search and revel in my immaturity just a bit longer I think.