the goose-step of the record nazis [ 2004-08-05, 5:45 p.m. ]

had a meeting at 1pm today.

Working in the healthcare field and dealing with fifty gagazillion regulations which change every thirty seconds, I have to attend a lot of meetings.

You say meeting, I say afternoon adult nap time. Holy Moses.

The woman hosting today's gala is newly promoted to Coordinator of her department. She is therefore quite perky and zealous about her new role. That role is "record management". I can handle a bit of zealotry here and there but is there a worse imaginable Zealot than a records Zealot?

So she pissed me off two days ago, with the first of TWELVE emails about this meeting. First, she announces the meeting. Then updates us all as the attendees confirm their appearance it seems hourly. Next she sends out the agenda. Then corrects the agenda, followed by adding to the agenda. Late yesterday was a reminder about the meeting at 1pm today, followed this morning by a "friendly reminder". Was the previous email a less than "friendly reminder"? Did it say "listen asshole be there at 1pm or I'll kick you in the balls"?

You might think that reminder might end the emails regarding the meeting since this meeting was taking place just a few hours after. You would be quite wrong. At about noon, I receive this little missive:

"As you know, our meeting today (Thursday August 5th, 2004) begins at 1pm. Therefore please arrive so that you are seated with pen and paper before 1pm so that we may begin on time and promptly at 1pm."

UGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I typed a reply.

Really at 1pm! I didn't get that from the 2000 times previous you'd said 1pm. Pen and paper? I can't use a no.2 ticonderoga pencil? What if make a mistake? And how much paper should I bring? One sheet, a pad, a whole ream? Oh dear God! It's 12:10! I had better set out now for the five minute trek to the conference room to allow for any delays so that I won't risk not being seated with note taking apparatti at the ready by exactly 1pm Greenwich Mean Time!

No, I didn't send it. It's a little something I do to make myself feel better then I hit delete. There was one time though I screwed up doing that. I had a note from corporate about scheduled computer downtime coming up. I typed "well isn't that swell? The constant UNSCHEDULED computer downtime isn't enough! They have to schedule it now! How about if the sorry SOB's keep the computer system up for five mintues straight once in a while".

Yeah, I hit send by mistake. The funny part is that all that happened was the head of the department called me freaking out that I was so upset. I let him apologize and then told him I appreciated his call.

Anyway, is it a mystery what I did? Of course I showed up at 1:10pm sans pen and/or paper.

James Dean is dead so someone's got to take over as the rebel without a cause.

I now quake in fear though over my obvious affront to the record management team. They may send in one of their thugs and take all my "A" files and put them in the "B" file folder.

Those record Nazi's like to fight dirty I hear.

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4 - 2006-07-04

The bacon rebellion - 2006-06-25

scattergories - 2006-06-19

once more into the breach boys - 2006-06-05

not so famous last words - 2006-01-06

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