I'm being stalked by a cursed figurine.
Really, I swear.
At work I park my babe magnet Ford Ranger away from the masses over on the side of the building near where my office is. You know, so I can come and go during the day barely noticed.
This spot is also about 20 feet from a dumpster as well. A few weeks ago, I noticed some small broken figurine dealio of a buddha or some other Asian idolish sort of thing. Must have broken off of something someone was putting in the dumpster. The next time I saw it of course, I kicked it into the grass. I dunno why I kicked this thing, sometimes you just gotta kick something I guess. Anyway, the next day it's back in the parking lot by my truck! I again kick it into the grass. The next day it's back!!
I now knew I was dealing with supernatural and possibly evil forces. And I know this because of TV. I saw that episode of the Brady Bunch where they go to Hawaii not too long ago. This thing looks just like the idol that Bobby or Peter, I forget, found. Just smaller and plastic and broken and differently shaped and colored, otherwise the very spitting image. And we all know the cursed luck that happened with whoever had the idol. Greg wiped out during the surfing contest, Jan caught herpes from some surfer dude, Alice was brutally murdered and Bobby was chased around a cave by Michael Jackson with a glass of "jesus juice".
Therefore, I adopted a policy of not touching or disturbing this cursed object in any fashion.
This week it has disappeared and reappeared on it's own yet again. But thanks to Nick at Night, I remain unscathed by it's evil intentions. "Remember the Brady's" I say to myself as I carefully avoid it.
Who says you can't learn anything from TV?