Idol chit chat [ 2005-04-27, 9:47 a.m. ]

By popular demand. (or one person maybe who mentioned it in passing) My opinions on the latest crop of American Idol Detestants. Now indeed, I claimed last year to have lost interest in the show. And I have. But the Sig Ot seems to enjoy it so I compromise as long as I can keep track of baseball games during the frequent commerical breaks. So without further aaaahhh-do last nights Idol in a nutshell.
Carrie something or other. Cute and sweet farmgirl. Not too bright. I like that. Video of her rubbing cows and rabbits and kissing cats yada yada retch. Yes we get it already. She sang some sort of country-esque rap/beebop thing that was just dreadful. I think she has a good voice but ehhh. Should have a fine future singing at state fairs and grocery store grand openings.
Fan Base: White teeny girls and their mothers.
Bo Bison or Dice etc. Looking more like Jesus every week. He might be healing the lame before it's all over with. Wearing a wretched hippy tye-die smock thing (I hate few things worse) and I am sure smelled like Pachoolie (Sp?)and incense or incest even (being from Alabama and all hehheh). Video showed a girlfriend who looked like Melissa Gilbert (and that's not good) overbite and all. Some stoner friends indicated he was just like the person we see on TV. Ewww, that's what I was afraid of. He sings that song I hate that's a recent "hit", "I'm just trying to be like I am sorta kinda am or something but not really now" or whatever song, it's an awful song. He might have been great singing it but who could care?
He did a good impression of Jesus leading a rock band or maybe Bono. Same difference. I could see this moron selling records actually. Or working at a Herbel Remedy sort of shop. Toss-up.
Fan Base: People over the age of 20.
Vonzell. Video shows that she's a Postal Employee which means she would take a paycut to be a recording star. Ohhh, she smashes a board with a karate move! Bonus! I love a chick who can kick ass like that. To quote the ever-wise Paris Hilton, "that's hot". She's also very attractive and sweet. Although maybe too sweet. She sings well when screaming high notes but has no lower register range. It's apparently a Christina Skankaquera song and it's bleh. But she can sing in her range. I like her.
Fan Base: Probably crosses demographics.
Anthony Feder-something. Former Commie from the USSR. Video shows his Parents calling him a "miracle worker and salvation" or something. He's like Mother Theresa! To further confuse the gender identity he does a Celine Dion song. Oh my. Not good. Or maybe it is if you like that sort of thing. And gawd help you if you do. Simon says he "hated every moment of it" and I have to agree. He and Seacrest look a bit chummy in my opinion. Hmmm. Not a chance to win. Too neuter.
Fan Base: Gender confused boys.
Constantine Greekdude. Oh boy. As Butthead once said "hehhehheh, he got in line for an ass twice, hehehhehh". The chicks dig him, he does posey pouty things. A good singer he is not. He sings a Nickleback song and he is trying to "rock out" or something but ummm. not so much with the rock. He does indeed sound like a band cover band in a bar. I.E. he's about as good a singer as me (a former bar band singer) and that's not good enough. He did better with bumble gum songs I think. He could win this though since he gets teen chicks hot and bothered. And that's the sort of fan base who will spend two hours voting over a cell phone.
Fan Base: Teen chicks and maybe a mom or two.
Scott Something or other. A video shows his parents and friends. Well...that explains a lot. He badly wants to be African-American and just ends up being sad. Has a good voice but no charisma or star potential whatsoever. Couldn't sell a CD to save his life. Who keeps voting for this guy? Simon said for him to pack his bags. Good advice.
Fan base: Trailer dwellers everywhere.
So there it is! Boy that wasn't worth the effort of reading, was it?
heh.
I never watch the wrap up show which is highly annoying and stretched out. I just find out the next week, it's more fun that way.
Okay, Kayla, satisfied? :)

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4 - 2006-07-04

The bacon rebellion - 2006-06-25

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once more into the breach boys - 2006-06-05

not so famous last words - 2006-01-06

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