There comes a time when for the good of humanity, people have to come together and find common cause to fight those forces which threaten our very well being.
I therefore, ask everyone to help me eradicate a horrible menace to us all.
Over-used cliches. If we don't act now, are our children safe?
To this end I wish to form an army of citizens to openly combat this hideous problem in our society. This army will be called the Webster Bitch-Slap Brigade. After the great Noah Webster and the fact that bitch-slapping will be the punishment we administer to offenders.
This will just be an American effort as well. The British we can't work with because really who knows what they're saying half the time anyway.
UK person "Sod off you priggish wog!"
Yank "umm, thanks dude, I think, I mean what?" heh.
With the Aussies it seems to center around boomerangs and bloomin' onions or something, and they talk funny so we'll leave them alone. Canada? Eh, they'll all be speaking French soon enough so we'll not worry ourselves with them either.
People, I jest, I joke really. Sort of. Maybe.
But what is no joke is my brigades' mission.
Somewhere someone utters a phrase that is actually clever. Those gathered will chuckle. They then use it the next chance they get and so on and so on. This phrase becomes part of the pop culture and then permeates it's way through the general population and soon enough is used even by the tragically un-hip. The apex of an over-used cliche is when it appears on a banal show like "Everybody Loves Raymond". It is then time for action.
Our first cliche to get rid of is "happy camper". I think everyone will agree this term is way past it's usefulness. I can't stand this phrase any longer.
"Are we not a happy camper today?"
"A HAPPY CAMPER! NO, NOT REALLY BUT I AM A BIT OF A PSYCHOTIC CAMPER TODAY! A BEAT THE HELL OUT OF MY FELLOW CAMPERS SORT OF CAMPER IF YOU WILL!"
bitch-slap is administered.
It's that simple. And you'll feel better too.
I believe in attacking these one at a time but we already have a lengthy list of cliches to follow and certainly I'll entertain suggestions for future actions
by our brigade.