Ladies and Gentlemen. As CEO of Guttercity Intl, I regret that I must inform you that we were unable to retain the services of the man known as the Gutterpoet any longer. Due to the tight economy and our desire to be more profitable for our shareholders, we have to cut costs where we can. Therefore, we have out-sourced this diary overseas. The new writer is a young man named Pachhi a.k.a "the desertpoet". This young man has studied American culture and catch-phrases for months now and we think he will finally bring the humor we've wanted in this diary for a while now. Plus with the savings of money, we can publish many more entries daily. You can be assured the Desertpoet is keenly tuned into the American venacular. So without further delay...The Desertpoet!!!
Hello my britches! It will be my pleasure to service each of you diary people, I must declare!
Did you watch that crazy American Idol last night? That Ryan Sescrust is one funny homosexual! And that Simon Cow IS CRAZY! He really shits up my crack, I must declare! That Paul Abdul sitting next to him! If not for the hat and suit he look like woman! He's crazy too!
Those crazy kids singing the songs! Like you say, they were really yanking the yak out there I must declare! They are crazy! I would like to say to all you diary people what that crazy Michael Jackson said last night on the American Idol. "I am feeling your dog"! Yes, I am! Speaking of pets I have a crazy goat. I love him and I had him for dinner last night!
Those crazy politicians we have! I see them all the time I do declare...AND ALL YOU WHO SERVE THE GREAT SATAN AND IT'S IMPERIALIST GOVERNMENT AND MOCK US WITH YOUR AFFLUENCE AND DEVIL CULTURE AND GANGS OF THUGS SHOULD DIE!!! DIE YANQUI DIE!!
It's just crazy I do declare!
As your Desertpoet it will be my honor to do as many of you as often as I can in the next year.
I now will have all the fanmail then.
the Desertpoet.
Thank you, thank you Desertpoet. As you can see this page will not only meet but exceed the former writers output at half the cost. It's a win-win for all of us.
Thanks again.
Bob Schister
Guttercity intl.