I keep seeing my female neighbors topless. It's like it's Mardi Gras suddenly and I have a fist full of beads.
Now before anyone pictures me up a tree wearing camo looking through binoculars, let me assure the gentle reader that this is not the case. Not that I wouldn't do such a thing. (I have a decidedly voyeuristiic side for sure) But I am just minding my own business!
A couple of weeks ago, I joined my friend of the canine persuasion on the deck in the backyard for a few minutes. As I sat there I noticed my neighbors to the south (there's a lot between us the developer isn't going to build on) were all on their porch in some sort of commotion. The young couple who lives there were staring intently off into the woods behind their property. This caught my and Nikki's attention as well. The young lady had some sort of blanket draped around herself. She turned back towards the house (and us) and I guess she was adjusting the blanket in some way which flung it open. It was at this point I realized she was draped in the blanket because she had nothing on above the waist. For a full minute she just kind of stood there all stark raving topless. Now I guess I could have at this point looked away, but hey, I am a guy after all. And she is not exactly uneasy on the eyes in any way shape or form. In her defense our backyards are pretty woodsy and desolate so you do tend to forget anyone else is there and she was turned away from her neighbor who is actually right next to her house.
Flash forward to this morning. (flash forward, heh I didn't even mean to do that) Across the street to the left of my house and directly across from the unimproved lot, a young couple moved in known to us only as "hot blondie chick" and "that little dufus guy". Okay so I and not the Sig Ot call them that, still. These people are rather famous with us for the fact they have no blinds or curtains whatsoever up. Which of course one might understand as it can be quite costly to do so right when you've just paid out so much for the house. This was some curiousity early on but as nothing interesting ever appeared to be going on and the fact that they seem to either go to bed at 9pm (like I can talk) or walk around in the dark since they have no curtains. Anyway, I went 6amish into the backyard again with my friend of the canine persuasion. We often do this before I leave in the morning to check on plants and such and what needs watering etc. Whilst doing just this we turned towards the side yard and I noticed a light on (in the laundry area off the kitchen as our houses are similar)and casually glanced that way it still being just barely light out. "oh" I thought, "hot blondie chick is ironing something..." but before I turned the realization sunk in that she was...yes, stark raving topless! I paused for a moment to confirm this fact. I stood there maybe 60 seconds. Now I am sort of unclear where Miss Manners would stand on this. But I thought anything more than about a minute might be bad manners. Also "hot blondie chick" may be upgraded now to "very hot blondie chick" due to new evidence brought to our attention.
So far we've all not really met or got to know each other much beyond the occassional wave. Now it will be weird to meet these women I think. Maybe not really, but still I am a victim here if you ask me. Just an innocent man in my yard minding my own business.
How scarred will I be from these incidents that...
ok, so I enjoyed it, sue me.